Posted by rfathers on August 31, 2009
Yesterday, Sunday, I had an occasion to think about what is to sexy for church. Today, Monday, I ran across a women’s blog that was discussing that same subject. Christianity Today’s Kyria.com.
In the blog they were discussing how women should dress in church and some of the personal experiences of the writers in their attempt to dress appropriately. Here’s the comment I made on that blog:
I would like to offer a man’s perspective on your second question, “In what ways does clothing distract you from focusing on God?” I am sure my point of view is not the only male perspective, but nonetheless here it is. Since I got saved about 15 years ago, I have sought to sit as close to the front of the church as possible to help me to focus on God and to not get distracted by women in the church. It is not that I attend church where women are scantily dressed. It is quite the contrary. Most women dress conservatively. However, no manner of dress can stop a man’s mind from wandering (See Stephen Arterburn’s book, Every Man’s Battle). Only the man’s focus on God can do that. My conclusion is this: because of the presentation of women’s bodies in the “world” especially in the media and advertising, men have to really stay focused on God (and their purpose in life) to avoid temptation. Sometimes it is not easy to stay focused on God when a half-naked woman appears in front of you in living color. I’ll tell you that it is enough to face that battle outside of church. I don’t want to face that battle inside of church. So therefore, my suggestion to women (from a man who wants to stay focused on God) is to use the Apostle’s Paul encouragement to “… to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly…” (1 Timothy 2:8-10, NASB)
What do you think on this issue? Can you be distracted from your focus on God in church? Please leave your comment below.
By the way, Christianity Today has a free newsletter and a host of articles in their Marriage Partnership website. Check it out. They have a lot of valuable resources.
For men who need help staying on the straight and narrow path of focusing on God and not be distracted by the presentation of “worldly women” here are a few other resources. I have found the Every Man’s Battle book series to be very helpful and informative. Every Christian man should arm himself with a least one of these weapons.
Posted by rfathers on June 30, 2009
Today I had the occasion to look for help for a friend who had a question about his son’s behavior. I was again lead to a website that has a wealth of information for parents who are looking for answers. That website is the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry, www.aacap.org.
The American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry website has a convenient list of almost 100 questionable behaviors and issues of concern in their Fact for Families section. They feature explanations about signs to look for, details about normal behavior, suggestions for further reading, some videos, recommended steps to take, and other helpful information for inquiring parents.
I recommend using this resources to help you answer questions about your children and about where and how to find help when the questions arise Facts for Families – Alphabetical Listing. The website also features a host of other resources, links, papers, books and referrals that are helpful for families and professionals.
Posted by rfathers on May 30, 2009
Every man should know about the Five Languages of Love.
In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman teaches couples how to speak and how to understand their mate’s love languages.
Those five languages are:
- words of affirmation: telling her how much you appreciate her and what she does, expressing gratitude for well she does something, compliments on her hair or clothes, and especially telling her how you feel about her;
- quality time: focusing your time and energy on her and also on her needs, communication (with eye contact), sharing feelings, thoughts and experiences; listening (not solving problems – but listening);
- receiving gifts: giving gifts as a expression of love and appreciation (within your budget of course), including the gift of self and time;
- acts of services: chores done out of love not obligation, from the simple and necessary chores to the special chores specifically for your mate, know what our mate likes or you could be speaking the wrong language (i.e. washing the car will not be appreciated if your mate wants the dishes done); and
- physical touch: more than just sexual intercourse is important to most people, physical closeness is appreciated in various ways, know what you your mate likes and where and what is important to her, know how she does not like to be touched so that you will not be irritating to her.
Do you know your mate’s love languages, how she speaks them or how she likes to receive them?
Do you know your own way of speaking and how you like to receive?
Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, (Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing, 1995).
Gary’s book and his website can be great tools for developing your abilities in this area. (See www.FiveLoveLanguages.com)
Or you can get a copy right here:
Posted by rfathers on February 19, 2009
On January 5, 2009 we posted an article “Take Time for Your Children” See article.
Today we want to share two 30-second commericals from the U.S. Government’s National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse’s “Take Time to Be a Dad” campaign.
These commericals speak for themselves.
 |
Cheer Leader
A grandmother watches as a father is rehearsing cheerleading routines with his daughter. |
 |
Super Soaker
We observe a father and his young son engaged in a serious “super soaker” battle. |
For more information on the U.S. Government’s National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse’s, which is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families Office of Family Assistance.
NRFC – Home page
NRFC – Tips for Absence Fathers
NRFC – Tips for Parents
NRFC – Fatherhood Statistics
Posted by rfathers on January 31, 2009
Somehow this website appeared on my computer Joel and Kathy – GodSavedMyMarriage.com. No kidding, I walked away from doing some work on my computer to do the dishes.
After finishing the dishes and talking with my wife, I came back to my computer to find Joel and Kathy’s website on the screen (honestly). (It must have come up when i was rumbling around my desk looking for something. in any event, it was God’s doing.)
Anyway, I looked through their website to see what they are about and wow, what a discovery! A great looking family with a tremendous set of testimonies from readers of their books.
In their own words, this is what Joel and Kathy are about:
“If your marriage has been ravaged by adultery, porn, other marital problems, divorce, emotional abuse, mental abuse or verbal abuse, then allow Joel and Kathy Davisson to help you!
Joel was a Pastor in 1991 when he got into an affair. He then continued to abuse Kathy with spiritual abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Joel’s infidelity and continuing abuse almost caused a divorce.
In 1994, Joel and Kathy attended a week of training at Life Skills International with Dr. Paul Hegstrom. There they learned that Joel was an abusive husband. Their marriage restoration began immediately.
In 2004, after ten years of living an extraordinarily happy marriage, God led the Davisson’s to write The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!
Now, through this marriage ministry, Joel and Kathy help couples with every type of marriage problems, such as: recovery from porn addiction, adultery, abuse and help for a myriad of other marital problems.
The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His Ministry includes marriage training opportunities?and?marriage support.
This marital support includes marriage seminars, their signature Weekend Marriage Intensive, phone marriage counseling and personal marriage mentoring. The Weekend Marriage Intensive is a combination of marriage retreat, divorce prevention and a Marriage Workshop.
The Weekend Marriage Intensive Marriage Retreats conducted by Joel and Kathy have brought about remarriage after divorce, rekindling of romantic love, adultery recovery and recovery from every other kind of unfaithfulness in marriage.
Marriage coaching and couples coaching is available for FREE on Joel and Kathy’s online marriage forum at www.joelandkathy.com/boards/
(Copied from their website: GodSaveMyMarriage.com)
Check out their website then come back and get their books here:
The Man of Her Dreams,
The Woman of His
Vol. #1
(Best-Selling Paperback) |
The Man of Her Dreams,
The Woman of His
Vol. #2
(Livin’ It & Lovin’ It!) |
|
|
|
Posted by rfathers on January 23, 2009
Today, I received a great e-mail from All Pro Dad titled Husbands Who Love Their Wives. It featured a list by Dr. Robert Lewis of 25 thought provoking items. Here are the first seven:
- Includes his wife in envisioning the future.
- Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
- Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
- Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
- Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.
- Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
- Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
To see the entire list on their website – go to: All Pro Dad – Dr. Robert Lewis list of 25.
Print List: List of 25 Characteristics of Husbands Who Love Their Wives
The more I read the All Pro Dad newsletter, the more impressed I am with their quality content and sound advise. Visit their website at: All Pro Dad.
Reconciled Fathers Network
Akili Kumasi, Founder
