Posted by rfathers on June 2, 2010
Here’s an update (and good news ) from my friend Ollie:
Hello everyone, great news from Pepsi! They are continuing our Janae Designs idea throughout the month of June (Click http://www.refresheverything.com/janaedesigns)!
In addition, they have added our 3-minute YouTube video (Click http://www.refresheverything.com/search/?q=JanaeDesigns). So please continue to vote each day and encourage everyone you know in your social & business network to do the same by sharing the information and voting instructions below.
My prayer is for a fast, strong and consistent start-to-finish competition and victory in June for this “Most Votes Win” competition to help special needs children like my daughter Janae.
Many of you requested that I help remind you to vote each day. Therefore, I will try to do my best to help by sending out a “Friendly Daily Vote Reminder.”
Please feel free to email me with any questions or ideas to help improve our chances of winning it all for the kids this month. If you have Facebook, remember that you can vote twice per day.
Thanks a million!
Ollie and Janae
My name is Ollie Jones IV and I am the father of a 9-year old Janae Hope Jones. Janae has Cerebral Palsy. I am very passionate about helping her and children like her reach their fullest potential.
Pepsi is giving away over a million dollars a month in grants to people and businesses with ideas that will have a positive impact in their community (Most Votes Win!). My grant idea is to “Provide the Wedgster Physical Therapy Device I invented FREE to 365 Special Needs Children across America.”
Please VOTE for us in the Pepsi Refresh Project each day in June via http://www.refresheverything.com/search/?q=JanaeDesigns).
For those of you who have a Facebook account, you can actually vote TWICE per day. First, through your Pepsi Sign-in. The other way is via your Facebook account (see instructions below):
Pepsi Voting Link & Instructions:
- Click http://www.refresheverything.com/janaedesigns or http://www.refresheverything.com/search/?q=JanaeDesigns
- Click the GREY “Vote For This Idea” logo in upper right corner.
- For your vote to count, you must “Sign In” via pop up Pepsi Form (enter your Email Address, Create Password, Your Name, prove that you are not a robot, etc.).
- If necessary, you can do a search for “Janae Designs” in the $250,000 category
- Click “Vote For This Idea”
- You should now see your vote count at the bottom of page move from 10 to “09 Votes Left Today.”
- Please vote once-per-day (twice via Facebook) in the month of June and encourage everyone you know to do the same
- Help promote my idea on the Pepsi site by clicking their Facebook, MySpace and Twitter links.
- Please join our Janae Designs Facebook Fan Page to stay informed and help maintain the momentum http://www.facebook.com/pages/Janae-Designs/115456145139403?ref=ts
Facebook Voting Instructions:
- After you’ve voted via Pepsi site, scroll down to “Vote From Facebook”
- Click “Install The Application”
- Click “Go To Application”
- Click any of our “Vote For This Idea” in RED boxes
- Click “Confirm”
- Click “Share This Idea”Blessings,
Ollie Jones, IV
Janae Designs, LLC
561-249-2464
Website: www.janaedesigns.com
Email Address: llie@JanaeDesigns.com
Proverbs 19:21 – Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
Please help Ollie. His cause is a good and Godly one.
Thanks,
Akili
Posted by rfathers on November 23, 2009
In both the Old and New Testaments the Word of God makes it clear that a Godly man pays his debts. Thus, debt is a tool that can be used to help finance purchases or investments that one cannot afford out of his own cash reserves. However, as a tool or vehicle, debt should not be abused. Thus, God’s Word also makes it clear that we should not have excessive debt.
You have excessive debt when: (a) your debt is above and beyond your ability to pay it back in a timely and/or agreed upon fashion, or (b) payments take up too large of a percentage of your income which impairs your ability to pay for essentials.
In recent years when the housing market was booming many people financed homes that they could not afford. Thus, homes were lost and credit ratings were ruined when the bubble burst. Un-wise consumers do the same with buying cars, and running up credit cards bills and in maintaining lifestyles beyond their income levels.
God’s Word tells us:
Keep out of debt and owe no man anything, except to love one another … - Romans 13:8 AMP
How Excessive Debt Can Cripple Your Family Life
- Excessive Debt can rob you of your joy. Not being able to pay your bills can be stressful when trying to make ends meet. The stress robs you of your joy when you cannot handle your payments. When you lose your joy, you play with your children less and you are less patient with your wife. Excessive debt can also hamper your ability to do fun things. Recreation is an important part of life and if you do not have “extra” money, you cannot afford to do those fun things you once took for granted. Going out for dinner or a movie can become a thing of the past. It is no fun watching others enjoy themselves when you are not able to enjoy yourself because of your poor financial judgment.
- Excessive Debt can limit your ability to provide for the essentials. Struggling for money to buy groceries and other household necessities (or even having to make choices between what you need and what you can afford) can result from not having enough money to live off of and service your debt payments. This means everyone has to do with less because of being saddle with excessive debt.
- Excessive Debt can eliminate the possibility of owning or maintaining a house. As mentioned earlier, many people in the U.S. lost their homes because of un-wise buying decisions and their inability to maintain an excessive mortgage payment. Others have not been able to ever buy a home because of poor financial management, poor credit rating, and excessive debt burdens. It is so much better to be able to play with your children in the “play room” or backyard than it is to not have either.
- Excessive Debt can make it impossible to have new clothes and toys. Too often people have used credit to finance their wardrobe and thus have excessive credit card balances and can only pay the minimum payments. When they max-out or lose those cards then their ability to purchase new clothes for themselves and their children – and toys, piano and dance lessons, etc. – is seriously impaired. Shopping for “things” can become an addiction – be careful, or you too could be trapped into this buying with credit obsession.
- Excessive Debt means lost opportunities. When you owe too much money, you will often have to pass on an attractive opportunity for an investment or purchase when it comes along. That means you cannot buy into a business or purchase a home or car at the right price because too much of your money is going toward servicing debt rather than building up saving and equity. Thus, you are not prepared when opportunity knocks. Additionally, with excessive debt also comes the necessity to work extra hours or an extra job to help pay the bills – which means less time for your family.
- Excessive Debt can hostage your future. Debt accumulates interest faster and at deeper rates than most investments and savings. Nonetheless, it is more fun to watch your assets grow than to watch your debt burden grow. Your future is at risk if you practice poor financial principles or are in poor financial health. You will spend too heavy a percentage of your future income on debt payments and accumulated interest. Thus, you will be able to spend less on your children’s future (including college, weddings, birthday gifts, etc.) because you have to pay for your past.
- Excessive Debt can prevent you from serving God. Instead of being free to serve God and give or yourself, you might have to spend too much time chasing money to pay your bills. We should see excessive debt as a tool of the enemy. The devil wants us in debt so we will be crippled in our families and in our ministries. Don’t fall prey to the schemes of the devil, practice sound and Godly financial principles.
This short entry on crippling excessive debt is by no means a complete analysis on the subject. However, it is meant to give some food for thought.
We will write more on this subject in the future.
Print a copy of this article: Excessive Debt
What are some other ways the Excessive Debt can potentially cripple family life? Tells us by commenting on this post.
Have questions or disagree – if you do – let us know by commenting on this post.
Posted by rfathers on December 11, 2008
He was scoring points like Michael Jordan and Wilt Chamberlin combined. I remember that day in the park when I was about five years old. My father played basketball with his buddies and I played in the children’s area on the swings – then I moved to the big slide.
It was a really B-I-G slide and I was a little scared to climb all the way up that giant ladder. But, I took the challenge anyway and slowly climbed up – step-by-step – maintaining a tight grip on the guardrail and keeping my eye on my father.
When I reached the apex of the slide I carefully began to move from the ladder side to the slide side. But, that’s all I remember of that scene because when I woke up I was in my father’s arms. He was running down the street to get me home.
It was the late-1950’s. My father was a big man, one of the best athletes around. He was a cop, a policeman. Everybody respected him. The whole neighbor looked up to him. He was a handsome, intelligent, and personable man, good at everything he did and he had an intelligent and pretty wife.
I imagine that after I fell from the top of the slide, my father checked me. He found that I was unconscious. He scooped me up and started taking me home to my mother who was a nurse. He was frightened. I had fallen about 10 to 15 feet from the top of the slide. When I woke up – about half the way home, I was not surprised to be in my father’s arms as he completed the five blocks back to our house.
I will always cherish that memory. Because of that day and the trips to the barbershop where all the men seemed to straighten up when my father walked in, I’ll always remember that in childhood, my father was my hero. He was there for me.
A Date With Divorce
That was a crushing day. It was one that I will never forget and one that I would eventually repeat myself. The pain, anger and helplessness of that moment are etched in my memory to stay. I was eight and my sister was nine.
My mother called us into the living room. She and my father sat far apart. She told us that we were going to move and that my father would not be moving with us.
My father said nothing. My hero was silent. He was there, but not there. I assumed that his inability to move with us had something to do with the fact that he was a police officer and he had important work to do.
We all cried, just as my sons, their mother and I did on that fateful day 33 years later when I had to break the same kind of news to my own two sons.
But on that day, the earth seemed to stand still as the scene was frozen in the minds of those it hurt.
Beforehand, my mother must have anguished over how she would tell us and how we would react. As the ominous day approached she probably reasoned in her own mind – searching for a way to avoid the evitable.
My father might have wondered how he would look to us, if he would lose our love and what it would be like to be single again.
We left that last family meeting somehow. I have no idea what we did next. Did we eat dinner, watch television or go back to play in our rooms? Whatever we did, my life was not the same again. My family was broken. My heart was broken and I would soon begin to reap the consequences of the seeds that were sown that day.
I did everything I could to get time with my father, visit his mother – my grandmother, in the hope that he would come by. I’d call him on the telephone and of course I’d be ready when he was supposed to pick me up on Saturdays. Whatever I tried, my hero always seemed to be just out of my reach, ever so elusive. Never quiet there – even when he was there.
I still loved him, but that never seemed to be enough – especially when I turned nine and he decided to move – from a few blocks away – to Los Angeles – 400 miles away.
That day when my mother told me that my father was moving to a place where I knew I would not see him was more painful than when we were told that my parents were separating. I knew I would miss my father and I would miss my hero even more because he would no longer be there for me.
At the end of the letters that I wrote to him I drew special signs in triangles that meant that I loved him. He followed my lead and did the same in his letters. That’s why I used to look for him in the mailbox because that’s all the communication I had with him except for an extremely rare telephone call. I still remember what his triangle looked like. I thank God that my father kept up communication, but that was no substitute for him being there. When I fell, when I needed to learn how to fight or play third base, I was alone. He was not there to pick me up.
A few years later when he moved back to our neighborhood in Berkeley I experienced a great sense of relief. He was there, where I could find him, see him and talk to him. My hero was back, but still elusive, there, but not there.
On occasion he would help me with my paper route in the wee hours on Sunday morning by driving me around to make deliveries. I thought that was what fathers were supposed to do. But, he was ever so reluctant. In a tense moment he threatened to ‘knock me into next week’ after I gave him too many instructions on where to go and where to turn. With his foot still on the brake, he stretched from behind the steering wheel into the rear seat of the car with his backhand raised in the air. I knew if he hit me that it was really going to hurt. But, I just looked at him looming over me – I hadn’t done anything wrong.
I didn’t need his help after that. I just wanted him to be there with me – but not his anger.
Years later I was surprised when he showed up at my high school graduation. I thought he’d have an excuse. But, he was there. I was excited, my father, my hero, was there for me.
Then he remarried – again – and I had to deal with her. Later in life she and I got to be good friends, especially after my father died – but at that time she was just his wife. With his new family, that meant less time with me. But I persisted because rejection was no fun. I’d take the bus or drive over to see him, watch the ball game, play some dominoes, borrow some money. He was there. But I had to go home afterwards.
When I was twenty-four my father rescued me again. This time, from the drugs, the loneliness, and the despair – all of that. He helped me get straight, get into school, get a car, get back on my feet.
I imagine that after I fell, my father checked me. He saw that I was unconscious. He scooped me up to take me home. He was frightened.
When I woke up – about half the way home, I was not surprised to be in my hero’s car as he completed the drive back to his house. He picked me up. He was there for me.
Eventually he would leave me again, for the third and final time. You know what they say, “three strikes and you’re out!” Cancer, the big C. It struck him down and took him away. My hero lay silent and still, cold and unfeeling, there – but not there. That day, it hurt too. But, I’ll always remember, my father – my hero.
You see, after a divorce or separation, things are never the same. For this eight-year old boy, my life seemed shattered at the time. Trying to recapture the hero image of my father meant having to deal with the pain of growing up without his everyday presence. But while he was not perfect, he was my father and my hero. He didn’t wear a red cape, he wasn’t faster than a speedy bullet and he couldn’t fly – but he could play dominoes, ping pong and cribbage – and he loved me.
Too many families are stuck in the generational curse of divorce that leaves broken family after broken family.
Broken Home?
The term “broken home” is not a misnomer. It is real, because the break in the hearts of those affects – is real. But, as with any broken-heart, it can be repaired. We can all get over it, heal and move on to have happy and productive lives.
Many a hero is made in this situation as fathers rise from the ashes of destroyed marriages and fruitless relationships to actively nurture, train, discipline and love their offspring.
The key is to be there – even if you are not there.
About the Author
Akili Kumasi is the founder of RECONCILED FATHERS, an organization dedicated to helping separated father reconcile with their children. He is the author of three fatherhood books, Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons: Recipes and Activities for Bonding and Mentoring (co-authored with his two sons), On the Outside Looking In: Hope for Separated Fathers Who Want To Be Good Fathers and Bible Word Search, Volume III: Fathers in the Bible. . Akili is the father of four (two young men and two daughters). He lives with his wife and children in Queens, New York. He tells us that:
“Being a father is one of the greatest rewards and one of the most significant challenges a man can face. No father should miss this God-given responsibility and blessing.”
Reconciled Fathers Network
Akili Kumasi, Founder
