A Father’s Testimony, Part I

Posted by rfathers on April 15, 2010

Good Morning Everyone,

I would like to introduce you to my good friend Ollie Jones and his daughter Janae. Ollie is a good brother in the Lord. Please view his video (A Father’s Testimony) to see how God is using him to help children with special needs.

The more times you view his video the more votes he gets in the U.S. Chamber of Commerce “I Am Free Enterprise” contest.

You can see more about Ollie’s and Janae’s testimony and Ollie’s inventions for special needs children on his website (Janae Designs).

Here’s Ollie message:

Hello everyone; Please see our video below “A Father’s Testimony” (the short 3-minute version):

A Father’s Testimony

My story will be featured in an upcoming book written by esteemed Sun Sentinel business writer, Marcia Pounds. Marcia also encouraged me to enter my video in the U.S. Chamber of Commerce “I Am Free Enterprise” contest.

The Most Watched Video Wins! So, please click on the video link above, share it with everyone you know and watch it repeatedly until Friday, April 16 at 6 pm EDT.

ADDITIONALLY – Starting May 1, please vote for Ollie’s Pepsi Refresh Project grant idea that would allow him to provide his physical therapy equipment invention FREE to 365 Special Needs Children across America.

Right before May 1, I will send you details on how to vote for Ollie. More information is available on his website (Janae Designs).

Preparing a Personal Purpose Statement

Posted by rfathers on April 13, 2010

Defining Your Purpose In Life: “Who are You?” and “Why Do You Exist?”

Have you ever asked yourself those two questions, “Who am I?” and “Why do I exist?”

These two questions are focal points in the book, The Man In the Mirror: Solving 24 Problems That Men Face, By Patrick Morley.  In chapter five, “Purpose: Why Do I Exist?” Mr. Morley goes on to say that:

“The plain truth is that most men don’t know their purpose in life or their purpose is too small.  A man can do nothing more important than to wrestle with the purpose of his life.”

Here are a few important points that the author makes on this topic:

• The problem shows itself when we as men set goals, achieve them (or not achieve them), then set new goals – without achieving any lasting satisfaction.
• We should derive meaning and identity from understanding who we are in Christ. (Discussed in chapter four of the book, “Significance: The Search for Meaning and Purpose”).
• Once we know who are in Christ – then we can answer why we exist.
• God has a purpose for each of our lives – which is why we exist.
  • Knowing our purpose helps us to focus our lives.
• We also need to know the difference between purpose and goals.  Purpose gives direction to our goals. 
• A goal is an objective to achieve in the near term.  Generally, goals are measurable, to be achieved by a certain date (i.e. donate $100 to a children’s charity every month).  But goals are not always fixed.  They can also be qualitative (i.e. to be a good man).
• Purpose is why I exist – what my function is life is.  It is what God wants me to do for the long-term. 
• Purpose is where we should begin.  Then set goals to realize the purpose God established for your life.
  • Goals are what we do.  Purpose is why we do it.
• There are three levels of purpose:
  • Universal Purpose (for everyone) – to be saved by God and to glorify him through a holy life of faith, love, obedience and service.
  • Personal Purpose (the specific call for me) – a personal, unique and specific purpose for my life.  God reveals this to each of us and it will be consistent with God’s written Word.
  • Other Life Purposes (specific areas of each of our lives):
    • Relationship with God
    • Relationship with wife
    • Relationship with children
    • Relationship with parents, siblings, other family members
    • Other relationships
    • Use of gifts (ministry, serving, witnessing, encouraging, etc.)
    • Career and Education

How to Construct a Written Purpose Statement

1. Write down the Universal Purpose that everyone has from God – as you understand it.
2. Write down your Personal Purpose – as you understand what God has revealed to you.
3. Write down your Other Life Purposes – for the specific areas of your life.

For anything that you are uncertain about what God wants for you – Ask Him – and then listen.

Use the following example as a guideline to write each of the areas above.

My relationship with my children:

Purpose:  Be a Godly parent.

• Goal #1: Give my children a heart for God.  (The results are not always quantitatively measurable.  However, you will see (or not see) the results in the choices and the behavior of your children as they grow and mature.)
  • Steps: enroll my children in Christian schools.
  • Activities (this is measurable): have daily family devotions with prayer and Bible reading and study, attend church weekly.
• Goal #2: Set a Christian home environment.
  • Steps: display Christian attitudes and values towards others in what we say and in what we do towards others, emphasize Christian movies and other activities, monitor and limit use of the computer, television and other media.
  • Activities: socialize with other Christian families.
• Goal #3: Be a good example of Godliness.
  • Steps: maintain a personal walk with God myself, be sensitive to the impact I have on my children, listen when they talk.
• Goal #4: Have a close and mentoring relationship with my children.
  • Activities: spent time with them, talk with them. teach them, give them room to grow, give Godly direction without being be overly critical.

Print a copy of thie outline for Developing a Personal Purpose Statement.
 
Also see our blueprint for developing a Marriage Plan.

What Mothers Say About Fathers

Posted by rfathers on January 14, 2010

This morning I received my regular e-mail newsletter from the National Fatherhood Initiative. I noticed a big ad on their website announcing the release of the first-ever national survey taking an in-depth look at how today’s mothers view fathers and fatherhood.

The 36-page report, Mama Says: A National Survey of Mothers’ Attitudes on Fathering (as well as other smaller summaries), is available on their website (National Fatherhood Initiative).

Below are the Top 14 Findings of the report, copied from this website: Top 14 Findings.

Top 14 Findings – What do moms really think?

1. 93% of moms believe there is a father absence crisis.
2. Most moms think dad is replaceable.
3. Married and cohabiting moms were happier with dads’ performance than moms not living with dad.
4. Married moms believe more in the power of marriage to help dad be the best he can be than moms who are cohabitating or separated from dad.
5. Dads of young children got better marks than dads of teens.
6. Closeness to children and work-family balance were the biggest predictors of mom’s satisfaction with dad (after living arrangement).
7. Most moms said they could do a better job of work-family balance if dad provided more help.
8. Moms said that “work responsibilities” were the biggest obstacle to dad’s success in fathering.
9. Strong religious values are beneficial to helping dads be better fathers.
10. Moms think communities of faith are the top place for dads to get fathering help.
11. Nonresident dads think they’re doing a better job than the moms who co-parent with them think they are.
12. African-American moms weren’t as happy as white or other minority moms, but most of the difference can be explained by living situation or family structure.
13. New romantic relationship for dads equals less happy moms.
14. Moms who aren’t living with the father of their children identified more and stronger obstacles to his ability to parent.

I am truly grateful to the National Fatherhood Initiative for putting this report together. I invite all of my readers to take a look at this report and the many others on fatherhood that are available on the National Fatherhood Initiative website.

We will definitely discuss this list in our next Joseph the Carpenter Focus Group Meeting (JCFG).

Please let us know what you think about the list of the Top 14 Findings by commenting below.

Thank you.
Akili

God’s Call for a New Generation of Fighting Men

Posted by rfathers on December 8, 2009

God has impressed on me that He is calling for a new generation of fighting men to face the current challenges of the twentieth-first century.

This statement raises several obvious questions such as:

1. What is a generation of fighting men?
2. Why is God calling for a new generation of fighting men for today?
3. What are the characteristics of this new generation of fighting men?

What is a generation of fighting men?

Fourteen months after Israel’s Exodus from the confines of slavery in Egypt, a census showed that there were 603,550 men who were 20 years old or more and could serve in Israel’s army (Number 1:44-46). Twelve of these men were chosen (one of the leading men from each of the 12 tribes) to explore the land of milk and honey that God had promised to Israel. Upon their return after 40 days of spying the land, 10 of the men gave an evil report that characterized the inhabitants as unconquerable giants. Although the land was plentiful and inviting, the 10 spies spread fear that caused most of Israel to long for a return to Egypt.

Only Joshua and Caleb believed in God’s power to deliver the land into Israel’s hands. The whole assembly of Israel wanted to stone Joshua and Caleb. God intervened and threatened to immediately destroy all of the men of Israel. This was the generation of fighting men that God said could not enter the Promised Land and had to die in the dessert (Number 14:29-30). It was not until the last of these men was gone that God told Moses to prepare the people to enter the land of milk and honey.

Thirty-eight years passed from the time we left Kadesh Barnea until we crossed the Zered Valley. By then, that entire generation of fighting men had perished from the camp, as the LORD had sworn to them. The LORD’s hand was against them until he had completely eliminated them from the camp.

Now when the last of these fighting men among the people had died, the LORD said to me, “Today you are to pass by the region of Moab at Ar.
Deuteronomy 2:14-18 NIV

In the next post we will discuss why God is calling for a new generation of fighting men for today.

Please comment on today’s post below. Do you agree with this call?

Do You Have A Marriage Plan?

Posted by rfathers on November 30, 2009

Today Wedding Planning has become big business from flowers, wedding dresses, tuxedos, limos, DJs, bands, catering, wedding favors, venues, honeymoons, etc. etc. Almost everyone loves a good wedding. They are fun and exciting to attend. They make you cry and they make you laugh.

The sad part about weddings is not the event itself – but the aftermath. Aside from the thousands of dollars of debt that many couples accumulate for their special day, there are often pitfalls.

One of the biggest pitfalls is to spending too much time planning the wedding but very little time planning the marriage. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why half of first-time marriages end in divorce. That’s right marriages need more planning that weddings. The wedding is just one day, but the marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.

Too often happy couples are not prepared for the challenges of marriage and when faced with the reality of a life-time commitment, they are un-prepared to go the distance.

If couples would take the time to plan their marriages then they would have a better opportunity to know the person they intend to marry. They would be forced to work out some issues about their like and dislikes, they goals and aspirations and their personal visions for career, children, economics and more. But more to the point, they would discuss with each other what they really want out of life and what they are willing to put into it.

When couples take the time to plan their marriages they have the opportunity to establish joint goals and work out operating principles for their marriage.

Even for couples that have been married for many years, if you do not already have a marriage plan, it is not too late to create one.

Here are some basic components of the Marriage Plan that my wife Daisy and I created before we got married. Did you have a Marriage Plan? Let us know what you think about our blueprint by commenting below.

BluePrint for a Marriage Plan and Family Mission Statement:

1. Why are you getting married?
2. What is your family motto?
3. What is your relationship to God?
   1. How are you to be spiritually strengthened?
   2. Will you have family devotions, prayer, Bible Study? When and how often?
4. What is your family plan?
   1. How many children do you plan to have?
   2. When do you plan to start and stop having children?
5. What is is your financial plan?
   1. Are you going to tithe?
   2. What are each of your career goals?
   3. Who is going to work?
   4. How much income will it take to support your planned lifestyle?
6. What is your education plan?
   1. What are each of your educational goals?
   2. What are the time frames?
7. What is your housing plan?
   1. Where do you plan to live?
   2. What type of dwelling do you want to live in at various stages in your life?
   3. Do you plan to own? If yes, are you saving for a down payment?
8. What is your family Ministry Plan?
   1. Will you work in your church?
   2. Will you serve the Lord in other forms?
9. How will you divide the family and household responsibilities?
   1. Who is responsible for cleaning which rooms in the house, doing dishes, taking out the garbage etc.?
   2. When children come – who does what?
   3. Who cooks?
10. What are some of your personal operating guidelines?
    1. How do you settle arguments?
    2. Do you let the sun go down on your anger?
    3. What do you do if you cannot agree?
    4. Do you know how to compromise?
11. What does the Bible say about the relationship between the husband and the wife?
    1. How can the husband best love his wife?
    2. How can the wife best respect her husband?
12. What questions have been left out that are important to each of you?

Please pint a copy of the guidelines for developing a Marriage Plan.

See our other post on How To Develop a Personal Purpose Statement

Get a FREE Copy of “Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons”

Posted by rfathers on August 28, 2009

Help yourself to a free copy of the book that my two sons and I wrote some years ago, Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons: Recipes and Activities for Bonding and Mentoring. 

You will enjoy the two sections of the book: recipes and activities.  Everything is centered around a meal and creates the opportunity for fathers to bond with and to mentor their children.

To get a free copy of this e-book just sign-up right here:

Introduction

Article: The Importance of Bonding and Mentoring

Cooking and Eating Utensils

Fun Meals Recipes

Breakfast Recipes
RailRoad Eggs
Eggs and Cheese on Toast
Grilled Cornbread Muffins and Syrup
Waffles and Bacon Sandwich
Chicken and Waffles
Bacon, Tator Tots and Ketchup
French Toast

Lunch Recipes
Daddy Dogs
Chili Cheese Dogs
Egg Salad and Cheez-Its
Tuna and Crackers
Hot Dogs, Crackers and Cheese
Leftover Turkey and Crackers
Netfa?s Platter
Pretzels and Soup
The Hero
Turkey, Lettuce, Cheese and Potato Chip Sandwich
The Twists

Dinner Recipes
Mess ?em Up Jax
Fried Chicken Sandwich
Asiedu?s Finger Foods
Buffalo Wings
Lumpy Burgers
Chicken Wings
Uncle Siasa?s Grilled Chicken Sandwich – with Pickles
Mexican Tacos
HomeMake Pizza
Pizza Dogs

Outdoor Dishes
Grilled Hamburgers
Yellow Chicken
Roasted Marshmallows
Hanger HotDogs

Drinks
AGC Fizz
OJ and 7-Up
HomeMade Lemonade
Fruit Punch and Lemonade
Grape Juice and Orange Juice
Chocolate Explosion

Bread and Potatoes
Garlic and Cheese Bread
Cheese Toast
Bacon and Cheese Bread
Tator Tots
Silver Dollar French Fries
Boiled Potatoes Creations

Salads
Fruit Salad
Busy Salad

Desserts and Snacks
Kid Pops
Popcorn and Orange Juice
Cookies and Ice Cream
RootBeer Float
Strawberry ShortCake
Brownies and Whipped Cream

Fun Meals Activities
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Picnic at Work
Deck Sandwich
Back Yard Dinner
Midnight Snack
Rubber Target
Fast Food
Slow Food
PanCakes
I Scream, You Scream
Pizza, Pizza
Bike Ride
Tour Boat Lunch
Have Lunch, Will Travel
Park It Here
Mountain High
Take a Hike
Tent City
Fish Sandwich
At the Mall
No Talking in the Library
Sky King
Live Chicken Dinner
Breakfast at the Beach
Let?s Go to the Movie

To get a free copy of this e-book just sign-up right here:

Get a copy of the paperback version of
Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons for only $2.95. 

Flywheel – Great Movie

Posted by rfathers on July 13, 2009

Right before Father’s Day this year I attended a special men’s meeting at my church where the movie FLYWHEEL was shown.  I was awe struck by this penetrating story of God working in the life of the main character, Jay Austin.  I immediately brought copies of the movie to show to our Joseph the Carpenter Focus Group and to give as gifts.

FLYWHEEL is a great movie and I highly recommend it for everyone.  It’s a man’s movie – but it is also a family movie – and it is a woman’s movie.  It has comedy, romance, drama, suspense, cars, and much more for the whole family.  It is a clean movie, one that adults AND children can watch.

Since my wife and I don’t generally go to the movie theatre – we rent movies and watch them in the comfort of our home on our own TV – with our own popcorn, bathroom and remote control – this movie is great for our family entertainment.

See the trailer for this movie below.

I absolutely guarantee that you will be grateful to the movie makers for having made this movie.  If you have not seen it – go get a copy now!

FLYWHEEL is the first movie produced by Sherwood Pictures, the movie-making ministry of a Georgia church. FLYWHEEL was written by the Kendrick brothers, Stephen and Alex.  “We decided as a church to step out on faith and produce a full-length feature film,” says Alex Kendrick, who also portrays the main character in the movie.

The Director’s Cut also has added bonus features including an eight-part Bible study…all on just one disc!  This was the first of their three movies by Sherwood Pictures: Flywheel, Facing the Giants and Fireproof.

Flywheel – Movie Trailer

7 Immediate Benefits for Women Who Read Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter

Posted by rfathers on June 16, 2009

Joseph the Carpenter is a Great Role-Model for 21st Century Fatherhood. But, he is also a role model for women as his Godly life can be emulated by anyone who wants to get closer to God. Below are Seven Immediate Benefits for women who read the book, Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter.

1. Biblical Historical Purposes: Everyone can learn from the life of Joseph the Carpenter as he was one of the most important people in Jesus’ life and in God’s Plan for Salvation.
2. Apply the Principles: Women can apply the principles illuminated in the book in their personal lives and in their spiritual walk.
3. Lift Your Own Personal and Spiritual Standards: By using the example of Joseph the Carpenter, women will be encouraged to raise their own levels and be better in Christ.
4. Gain Self-Respect in Relationships: Women can learn what Godly men should be like so that they will not settle for less. They will know how they should be treated by men. As the men improve women will also be propelled to improve.
5. Wives Can Encourage Their Husbands: Wives can help their husbands follow Joseph example and become Godly men, husbands and fathers. Wives can encourage their husbands to be effective Godly leaders in the family.
6. Mothers Can Help Prepare Their Sons: By knowing what God expects of Godly men, husbands and fathers – mothers can help prepare their sons to live up to that Godly standard.
7. Study Guide for Women’s Groups: This book is good for discussion groups as it helps everyone dig deeper into the Bible and is an effective Bible Study tool.

Please see our website for addition information on the Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter. www.JosephTheCarpenterBook.com

Print this post as a 1-page pdf 7 Immediate Benefits for Women Who Read Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter

The Five Languages of Love

Posted by rfathers on May 30, 2009

Every man should know about the Five Languages of Love.

In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman teaches couples how to speak and how to understand their mate’s love languages.

Those five languages are:

1. words of affirmation: telling her how much you appreciate her and what she does, expressing gratitude for well she does something, compliments on her hair or clothes, and especially telling her how you feel about her;
2. quality time: focusing your time and energy on her and also on her needs, communication (with eye contact), sharing feelings, thoughts and experiences; listening (not solving problems – but listening);
3. receiving gifts: giving gifts as a expression of love and appreciation (within your budget of course), including the gift of self and time;
4. acts of services: chores done out of love not obligation, from the simple and necessary chores to the special chores specifically for your mate, know what our mate likes or you could be speaking the wrong language (i.e. washing the car will not be appreciated if your mate wants the dishes done); and
5. physical touch: more than just sexual intercourse is important to most people, physical closeness is appreciated in various ways, know what you your mate likes and where and what is important to her, know how she does not like to be touched so that you will not be irritating to her.

Do you know your mate’s love languages, how she speaks them or how she likes to receive them?

Do you know your own way of speaking and how you like to receive?

Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, (Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing, 1995).

Gary’s book and his website can be great tools for developing your abilities in this area. (See www.FiveLoveLanguages.com)

Or you can get a copy right here:

Take Time To Be A Dad – from the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse

Posted by rfathers on February 19, 2009

On January 5, 2009 we posted an article “Take Time for Your Children” See article.

Today we want to share two 30-second commericals from the U.S. Government’s National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse’s “Take Time to Be a Dad” campaign.

These commericals speak for themselves.

	Cheer Leader A grandmother watches as a father is rehearsing cheerleading routines with his daughter.
	Super Soaker We observe a father and his young son engaged in a serious “super soaker” battle.

For more information on the U.S. Government’s National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse’s, which is part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families Office of Family Assistance.

NRFC – Home page

NRFC – Tips for Absence Fathers

NRFC – Tips for Parents

NRFC – Fatherhood Statistics