Have you ever asked yourself those two questions, “Who am I?” and “Why do I exist?”

These two questions are focal points in the book, The Man In the Mirror: Solving 24 Problems That Men Face, By Patrick Morley.  In chapter five, “Purpose: Why Do I Exist?” Mr. Morley goes on to say that:

“The plain truth is that most men don’t know their purpose in life or their purpose is too small.  A man can do nothing more important than to wrestle with the purpose of his life.”

Here are a few important points that the author makes on this topic:

• The problem shows itself when we as men set goals, achieve them (or not achieve them), then set new goals – without achieving any lasting satisfaction.
• We should derive meaning and identity from understanding who we are in Christ. (Discussed in chapter four of the book, “Significance: The Search for Meaning and Purpose”).
• Once we know who are in Christ – then we can answer why we exist.
• God has a purpose for each of our lives – which is why we exist.
  • Knowing our purpose helps us to focus our lives.
• We also need to know the difference between purpose and goals.  Purpose gives direction to our goals. 
• A goal is an objective to achieve in the near term.  Generally, goals are measurable, to be achieved by a certain date (i.e. donate $100 to a children’s charity every month).  But goals are not always fixed.  They can also be qualitative (i.e. to be a good man).
• Purpose is why I exist – what my function is life is.  It is what God wants me to do for the long-term. 
• Purpose is where we should begin.  Then set goals to realize the purpose God established for your life.
  • Goals are what we do.  Purpose is why we do it.
• There are three levels of purpose:
  • Universal Purpose (for everyone) – to be saved by God and to glorify him through a holy life of faith, love, obedience and service.
  • Personal Purpose (the specific call for me) – a personal, unique and specific purpose for my life.  God reveals this to each of us and it will be consistent with God’s written Word.
  • Other Life Purposes (specific areas of each of our lives):
    • Relationship with God
    • Relationship with wife
    • Relationship with children
    • Relationship with parents, siblings, other family members
    • Other relationships
    • Use of gifts (ministry, serving, witnessing, encouraging, etc.)
    • Career and Education

How to Construct a Written Purpose Statement

1. Write down the Universal Purpose that everyone has from God – as you understand it.
2. Write down your Personal Purpose – as you understand what God has revealed to you.
3. Write down your Other Life Purposes – for the specific areas of your life.

For anything that you are uncertain about what God wants for you – Ask Him – and then listen.

Use the following example as a guideline to write each of the areas above.

My relationship with my children:

Purpose:  Be a Godly parent.

• Goal #1: Give my children a heart for God.  (The results are not always quantitatively measurable.  However, you will see (or not see) the results in the choices and the behavior of your children as they grow and mature.)
  • Steps: enroll my children in Christian schools.
  • Activities (this is measurable): have daily family devotions with prayer and Bible reading and study, attend church weekly.
• Goal #2: Set a Christian home environment.
  • Steps: display Christian attitudes and values towards others in what we say and in what we do towards others, emphasize Christian movies and other activities, monitor and limit use of the computer, television and other media.
  • Activities: socialize with other Christian families.
• Goal #3: Be a good example of Godliness.
  • Steps: maintain a personal walk with God myself, be sensitive to the impact I have on my children, listen when they talk.
• Goal #4: Have a close and mentoring relationship with my children.
  • Activities: spent time with them, talk with them. teach them, give them room to grow, give Godly direction without being be overly critical.

Print a copy of thie outline for Developing a Personal Purpose Statement.
 
Also see our blueprint for developing a Marriage Plan.

In the blog they were discussing how women should dress in church and some of the personal experiences of the writers in their attempt to dress appropriately.  Here’s the comment I made on that blog:

I would like to offer a man’s perspective on your second question, “In what ways does clothing distract you from focusing on God?”  I am sure my point of view is not the only male perspective, but nonetheless here it is.  Since I got saved about 15 years ago, I have sought to sit as close to the front of the church as possible to help me to focus on God and to not get distracted by women in the church.  It is not that I attend church where women are scantily dressed.  It is quite the contrary.  Most women dress conservatively.  However, no manner of dress can stop a man’s mind from wandering (See Stephen Arterburn’s book, Every Man’s Battle).  Only the man’s focus on God can do that.  My conclusion is this: because of the presentation of women’s bodies in the “world” especially in the media and advertising, men have to really stay focused on God (and their purpose in life) to avoid temptation.  Sometimes it is not easy to stay focused on God when a half-naked woman appears in front of you in living color.  I’ll tell you that it is enough to face that battle outside of church.  I don’t want to face that battle inside of church.  So therefore, my suggestion to women (from a man who wants to stay focused on God) is to use the Apostle’s Paul encouragement to “… to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly…” (1 Timothy 2:8-10, NASB)

What do you think on this issue? Can you be distracted from your focus on God in church? Please leave your comment below.

By the way, Christianity Today has a free newsletter and a host of articles in their Marriage Partnership website. Check it out. They have a lot of valuable resources.

For men who need help staying on the straight and narrow path of focusing on God and not be distracted by the presentation of “worldly women” here are a few other resources. I have found the Every Man’s Battle book series to be very helpful and informative. Every Christian man should arm himself with a least one of these weapons.

Although this book was written many years ago (1989), it is as relevant today as it was 20 years ago.  From reading this book, the men in our group have had to really take stock of ourselves in terms of our walk with God, our purpose in life, our service to God, and our relationships with our spouses.

Here’s a quote on the book from Amazon.com:

This powerful book invites men to take a probing look at their identities, relationships, finances, time, temperament, and integrity, and then directs them to take the first time step toward lasting change.

The author, Patrick Morley also has a number of other books developed around the Man in the Mirror theme. You can visit his website at ManInTheMirror.org.

I strongly recommend the Man In the Mirror books for those who want to improve and maintain their relationship with God. As of this writing copies are available as low as one cent each – plus shipping.

1. Biblical Historical Purposes: Everyone can learn from the life of Joseph the Carpenter as he was one of the most important people in Jesus’ life and in God’s Plan for Salvation.
2. Apply the Principles: Women can apply the principles illuminated in the book in their personal lives and in their spiritual walk.
3. Lift Your Own Personal and Spiritual Standards: By using the example of Joseph the Carpenter, women will be encouraged to raise their own levels and be better in Christ.
4. Gain Self-Respect in Relationships: Women can learn what Godly men should be like so that they will not settle for less. They will know how they should be treated by men. As the men improve women will also be propelled to improve.
5. Wives Can Encourage Their Husbands: Wives can help their husbands follow Joseph example and become Godly men, husbands and fathers. Wives can encourage their husbands to be effective Godly leaders in the family.
6. Mothers Can Help Prepare Their Sons: By knowing what God expects of Godly men, husbands and fathers – mothers can help prepare their sons to live up to that Godly standard.
7. Study Guide for Women’s Groups: This book is good for discussion groups as it helps everyone dig deeper into the Bible and is an effective Bible Study tool.

Please see our website for addition information on the Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter. www.JosephTheCarpenterBook.com

Print this post as a 1-page pdf 7 Immediate Benefits for Women Who Read Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter

In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman teaches couples how to speak and how to understand their mate’s love languages.

Those five languages are:

1. words of affirmation: telling her how much you appreciate her and what she does, expressing gratitude for well she does something, compliments on her hair or clothes, and especially telling her how you feel about her;
2. quality time: focusing your time and energy on her and also on her needs, communication (with eye contact), sharing feelings, thoughts and experiences; listening (not solving problems – but listening);
3. receiving gifts: giving gifts as a expression of love and appreciation (within your budget of course), including the gift of self and time;
4. acts of services: chores done out of love not obligation, from the simple and necessary chores to the special chores specifically for your mate, know what our mate likes or you could be speaking the wrong language (i.e. washing the car will not be appreciated if your mate wants the dishes done); and
5. physical touch: more than just sexual intercourse is important to most people, physical closeness is appreciated in various ways, know what you your mate likes and where and what is important to her, know how she does not like to be touched so that you will not be irritating to her.

Do you know your mate’s love languages, how she speaks them or how she likes to receive them?

Do you know your own way of speaking and how you like to receive?

Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, (Chicago, IL: Northfield Publishing, 1995).

Gary’s book and his website can be great tools for developing your abilities in this area. (See www.FiveLoveLanguages.com)

Or you can get a copy right here:

Initially, a Focus Group would read the first book, Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter.

Second, one book (choosen by the group) from each of the remaining categories (2 through 9) would be read – in order.

Third, after completion of the one book from each category, the group would start again with another book from each of the categories. This would continue for three rounds, until all the books have been read and discussed in the focus group.

Fourth, we will be adding more material as we continue to develop the Joseph the Carpenter Focus Groups.

See how the groups are organized and how to start a Focus Group in your area Joseph the Carpenter Focus Groups.

Please make your suggestions for the book list and give us any comments or questions below.

Thank you.

Akili Kumasi

Joseph the Carpenter Focus Group Book List

1. Joseph the Carpenter
   1. Fatherhood Principles of Joseph the Carpenter, Akili Kumasi
2. Be A Godly Man
   1. Maximized Manhood, Edwin Louis Cole
   2. Disciplines of a Godly Man, R. Kent Hughes
   3. The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face, Patrick Morley
3. Be A Man of Character
   1. No More Excuses: Be the Man God Made You to Be, Tony Evans
   2. Every Man’s Battle, Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
   3. The Character of a Man: Reflecting the Image of Jesus, Bruce Marchiano
4. Be a Loving Husband
   1. An Outrageous Commitment, Ron Elmore
   2. Communication, Sex and Money, Edwin Louis Cole
   3. Five Languages of Love, Gary Chapman
5. Be a Family Man
   1. Straight Talk to Men: Timeless Principles for Leading Your Family, James Dobson
   2. Developing a Servant’s Heart, Charles F. Stanley
   3. Accountable to God: Biblical Stewardship, Mike Whitmore
6. Be a Teacher
   1. The Strong-Willed Child, James Dobson
   2. Your Boy: Raising a Godly Son in an Ungodly World, Vicki Courtney
   3. Fathers & Daughters: Raising Polished Cornerstones, David Barrett & Elysse Barrett
7. Be a Provider
   1. Knowing the Economy of God, Thomas Meaglia
   2. Personal Finances, Larry Burkett
   3. Money Life Basics-Marriage & Children, Crown Financial Ministries
8. Be a Protector
   1. Blessing of A Father, Randy Brown
   2. The Power of a Praying Parent, Stormie Omartian
   3. Parenting Teens in a Confusing Culture, Mark Gregston
9. The Purpose Driven Father
   1. The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren
   2. Understanding the Purpose and Power of Men, Myles Munroe
   3. Husbands & Fathers: Rediscover the Creator’s Purpose for Men, Derek Prince

Print a copy of the book list: Joseph the Carpenter Focus Group book List.

See how the groups are organized and how to start a Focus Group in your area. Joseph the Carpenter Focus Groups.

Please make your suggestions for the book list and give us any comments or questions below.

Akili Kumasi
rFathers.Net

After finishing the dishes and talking with my wife, I came back to my computer to find Joel and Kathy’s website on the screen (honestly). (It must have come up when i was rumbling around my desk looking for something. in any event, it was God’s doing.)

Anyway, I looked through their website to see what they are about and wow, what a discovery! A great looking family with a tremendous set of testimonies from readers of their books.

In their own words, this is what Joel and Kathy are about:

“If your marriage has been ravaged by adultery, porn, other marital problems, divorce, emotional abuse, mental abuse or verbal abuse, then allow Joel and Kathy Davisson to help you!

Joel was a Pastor in 1991 when he got into an affair. He then continued to abuse Kathy with spiritual abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Joel’s infidelity and continuing abuse almost caused a divorce.

In 1994, Joel and Kathy attended a week of training at Life Skills International with Dr. Paul Hegstrom. There they learned that Joel was an abusive husband. Their marriage restoration began immediately.

In 2004, after ten years of living an extraordinarily happy marriage, God led the Davisson’s to write The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!

Now, through this marriage ministry, Joel and Kathy help couples with every type of marriage problems, such as: recovery from porn addiction, adultery, abuse and help for a myriad of other marital problems.

The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His Ministry includes marriage training opportunities?and?marriage support.

This marital support includes marriage seminars, their signature Weekend Marriage Intensive, phone marriage counseling and personal marriage mentoring. The Weekend Marriage Intensive is a combination of marriage retreat, divorce prevention and a Marriage Workshop.

The Weekend Marriage Intensive Marriage Retreats conducted by Joel and Kathy have brought about remarriage after divorce, rekindling of romantic love, adultery recovery and recovery from every other kind of unfaithfulness in marriage.

Marriage coaching and couples coaching is available for FREE on Joel and Kathy’s online marriage forum at www.joelandkathy.com/boards/

(Copied from their website: GodSaveMyMarriage.com)

Check out their website then come back and get their books here:

by Akili Kumasi (with Asiedu & Netfa Heywot-Kumasi)
ISBN #: 0-9626035-0-3 – ISBN-13: 978-0-9626035-1-8

• Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons has two sections: Recipes and Activities.
• Both sections provide recipes for fun, adventure and excitement that helps in the bonding process for boys and their fathers.
• All the recipes are very simple and easy to make.
• All of the activities are centered around a meal but can be done with your own creativity.
• Your children will look forward to them.
• See Table of Contents below.

Purchase a copy of Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons PAPERBACK BOOK Shipped in 24 hours Regular Price $5.95 Discount Price $5.36 — Save 10%

Table of Contents – Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons

Introduction

The Importance of Bonding and Mentoring

Cooking and Eating Utensils

Fun Meals Recipes

Breakfast Recipes

RailRoad Eggs
Eggs and Cheese on Toast
Grilled Cornbread Muffins and Syrup
Waffles and Bacon Sandwich
Chicken and Waffles
Bacon, Tator Tots and Ketchup
French Toast

Lunch Recipes
Daddy Dogs
Chili Cheese Dogs
Egg Salad and Cheez-Its
Tuna and Crackers
Hot Dogs, Crackers and Cheese
Leftover Turkey and Crackers
Netfa?s Platter
Pretzels and Soup
The Hero
Turkey, Lettuce, Cheese and Potato Chip Sandwich
The Twists

Dinner Recipes
Mess ?em Up Jax
Fried Chicken Sandwich
Asiedu?s Finger Foods
Buffalo Wings
Lumpy Burgers
Chicken Wings
Uncle Siasa?s Grilled Chicken Sandwich – with Pickles
Mexican Tacos
HomeMake Pizza
Pizza Dogs

Outdoor Dishes
Grilled Hamburgers
Yellow Chicken
Roasted Marshmallows
Hanger HotDogs

Drinks
AGC Fizz
OJ and 7-Up
HomeMade Lemonade
Fruit Punch and Lemonade
Grape Juice and Orange Juice
Chocolate Explosion

Bread and Potatoes
Garlic and Cheese Bread
Cheese Toast
Bacon and Cheese Bread
Tator Tots
Silver Dollar French Fries
Boiled Potatoes Creations

Salads
Fruit Salad
Busy Salad

Desserts and Snacks
Kid Pops
Popcorn and Orange Juice
Cookies and Ice Cream
RootBeer Float
Strawberry ShortCake
Brownies and Whipped Cream

Fun Meals Activities

Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Picnic at Work
Deck Sandwich
Back Yard Dinner
Midnight Snack
Rubber Target
Fast Food
Slow Food
PanCakes
I Scream, You Scream
Pizza, Pizza
Bike Ride
Tour Boat Lunch
Have Lunch, Will Travel
Park It Here
Mountain High
Take a Hike
Tent City
Fish Sandwich
At the Mall
No Talking in the Library
Sky King
Live Chicken Dinner
Breakfast at the Beach
Let?s Go to the Movie

Purchase a copy of Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons PAPERBACK BOOK Shipped in 24 hours Regular Price $5.95 Discount Price $5.36 — Save 10%