Do You Have A Marriage Plan?

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Posted by rfathers on November 30, 2009

Today Wedding Planning has become big business from flowers, wedding dresses, tuxedos, limos, DJs, bands, catering, wedding favors, venues, honeymoons, etc. etc. Almost everyone loves a good wedding. They are fun and exciting to attend. They make you cry and they make you laugh.

The sad part about weddings is not the event itself – but the aftermath. Aside from the thousands of dollars of debt that many couples accumulate for their special day, there are often pitfalls.

One of the biggest pitfalls is to spending too much time planning the wedding but very little time planning the marriage. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why half of first-time marriages end in divorce. That’s right marriages need more planning that weddings. The wedding is just one day, but the marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.

Too often happy couples are not prepared for the challenges of marriage and when faced with the reality of a life-time commitment, they are un-prepared to go the distance.

If couples would take the time to plan their marriages then they would have a better opportunity to know the person they intend to marry. They would be forced to work out some issues about their like and dislikes, they goals and aspirations and their personal visions for career, children, economics and more. But more to the point, they would discuss with each other what they really want out of life and what they are willing to put into it.

When couples take the time to plan their marriages they have the opportunity to establish joint goals and work out operating principles for their marriage.

Even for couples that have been married for many years, if you do not already have a marriage plan, it is not too late to create one.

Here are some basic components of the Marriage Plan that my wife Daisy and I created before we got married. Did you have a Marriage Plan? Let us know what you think about our blueprint by commenting below.

BluePrint for a Marriage Plan and Family Mission Statement:

1. Why are you getting married?
2. What is your family motto?
3. What is your relationship to God?
   1. How are you to be spiritually strengthened?
   2. Will you have family devotions, prayer, Bible Study? When and how often?
4. What is your family plan?
   1. How many children do you plan to have?
   2. When do you plan to start and stop having children?
5. What is is your financial plan?
   1. Are you going to tithe?
   2. What are each of your career goals?
   3. Who is going to work?
   4. How much income will it take to support your planned lifestyle?
6. What is your education plan?
   1. What are each of your educational goals?
   2. What are the time frames?
7. What is your housing plan?
   1. Where do you plan to live?
   2. What type of dwelling do you want to live in at various stages in your life?
   3. Do you plan to own? If yes, are you saving for a down payment?
8. What is your family Ministry Plan?
   1. Will you work in your church?
   2. Will you serve the Lord in other forms?
9. How will you divide the family and household responsibilities?
   1. Who is responsible for cleaning which rooms in the house, doing dishes, taking out the garbage etc.?
   2. When children come – who does what?
   3. Who cooks?
10. What are some of your personal operating guidelines?
    1. How do you settle arguments?
    2. Do you let the sun go down on your anger?
    3. What do you do if you cannot agree?
    4. Do you know how to compromise?
11. What does the Bible say about the relationship between the husband and the wife?
    1. How can the husband best love his wife?
    2. How can the wife best respect her husband?
12. What questions have been left out that are important to each of you?