Do You Have A Marriage Plan?

Posted by rfathers on November 30, 2009

Today Wedding Planning has become big business from flowers, wedding dresses, tuxedos, limos, DJs, bands, catering, wedding favors, venues, honeymoons, etc. etc. Almost everyone loves a good wedding. They are fun and exciting to attend. They make you cry and they make you laugh.

The sad part about weddings is not the event itself – but the aftermath. Aside from the thousands of dollars of debt that many couples accumulate for their special day, there are often pitfalls.

One of the biggest pitfalls is to spending too much time planning the wedding but very little time planning the marriage. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why half of first-time marriages end in divorce. That’s right marriages need more planning that weddings. The wedding is just one day, but the marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.

Too often happy couples are not prepared for the challenges of marriage and when faced with the reality of a life-time commitment, they are un-prepared to go the distance.

If couples would take the time to plan their marriages then they would have a better opportunity to know the person they intend to marry. They would be forced to work out some issues about their like and dislikes, they goals and aspirations and their personal visions for career, children, economics and more. But more to the point, they would discuss with each other what they really want out of life and what they are willing to put into it.

When couples take the time to plan their marriages they have the opportunity to establish joint goals and work out operating principles for their marriage.

Even for couples that have been married for many years, if you do not already have a marriage plan, it is not too late to create one.

Here are some basic components of the Marriage Plan that my wife Daisy and I created before we got married. Did you have a Marriage Plan? Let us know what you think about our blueprint by commenting below.

BluePrint for a Marriage Plan and Family Mission Statement:

1. Why are you getting married?
2. What is your family motto?
3. What is your relationship to God?
   1. How are you to be spiritually strengthened?
   2. Will you have family devotions, prayer, Bible Study? When and how often?
4. What is your family plan?
   1. How many children do you plan to have?
   2. When do you plan to start and stop having children?
5. What is is your financial plan?
   1. Are you going to tithe?
   2. What are each of your career goals?
   3. Who is going to work?
   4. How much income will it take to support your planned lifestyle?
6. What is your education plan?
   1. What are each of your educational goals?
   2. What are the time frames?
7. What is your housing plan?
   1. Where do you plan to live?
   2. What type of dwelling do you want to live in at various stages in your life?
   3. Do you plan to own? If yes, are you saving for a down payment?
8. What is your family Ministry Plan?
   1. Will you work in your church?
   2. Will you serve the Lord in other forms?
9. How will you divide the family and household responsibilities?
   1. Who is responsible for cleaning which rooms in the house, doing dishes, taking out the garbage etc.?
   2. When children come – who does what?
   3. Who cooks?
10. What are some of your personal operating guidelines?
    1. How do you settle arguments?
    2. Do you let the sun go down on your anger?
    3. What do you do if you cannot agree?
    4. Do you know how to compromise?
11. What does the Bible say about the relationship between the husband and the wife?
    1. How can the husband best love his wife?
    2. How can the wife best respect her husband?
12. What questions have been left out that are important to each of you?

Please pint a copy of the guidelines for developing a Marriage Plan.

See our other post on How To Develop a Personal Purpose Statement

7 Ways Excessive Debt Can Cripple Your Family Life

Posted by rfathers on November 23, 2009

In both the Old and New Testaments the Word of God makes it clear that a Godly man pays his debts. Thus, debt is a tool that can be used to help finance purchases or investments that one cannot afford out of his own cash reserves. However, as a tool or vehicle, debt should not be abused. Thus, God’s Word also makes it clear that we should not have excessive debt.

You have excessive debt when: (a) your debt is above and beyond your ability to pay it back in a timely and/or agreed upon fashion, or (b) payments take up too large of a percentage of your income which impairs your ability to pay for essentials.

In recent years when the housing market was booming many people financed homes that they could not afford. Thus, homes were lost and credit ratings were ruined when the bubble burst. Un-wise consumers do the same with buying cars, and running up credit cards bills and in maintaining lifestyles beyond their income levels.
God’s Word tells us:

Keep out of debt and owe no man anything, except to love one another … - Romans 13:8 AMP

How Excessive Debt Can Cripple Your Family Life

1. Excessive Debt can rob you of your joy. Not being able to pay your bills can be stressful when trying to make ends meet. The stress robs you of your joy when you cannot handle your payments. When you lose your joy, you play with your children less and you are less patient with your wife. Excessive debt can also hamper your ability to do fun things. Recreation is an important part of life and if you do not have “extra” money, you cannot afford to do those fun things you once took for granted. Going out for dinner or a movie can become a thing of the past. It is no fun watching others enjoy themselves when you are not able to enjoy yourself because of your poor financial judgment.
2. Excessive Debt can limit your ability to provide for the essentials. Struggling for money to buy groceries and other household necessities (or even having to make choices between what you need and what you can afford) can result from not having enough money to live off of and service your debt payments. This means everyone has to do with less because of being saddle with excessive debt.
3. Excessive Debt can eliminate the possibility of owning or maintaining a house. As mentioned earlier, many people in the U.S. lost their homes because of un-wise buying decisions and their inability to maintain an excessive mortgage payment. Others have not been able to ever buy a home because of poor financial management, poor credit rating, and excessive debt burdens. It is so much better to be able to play with your children in the “play room” or backyard than it is to not have either.
4. Excessive Debt can make it impossible to have new clothes and toys. Too often people have used credit to finance their wardrobe and thus have excessive credit card balances and can only pay the minimum payments. When they max-out or lose those cards then their ability to purchase new clothes for themselves and their children – and toys, piano and dance lessons, etc. – is seriously impaired. Shopping for “things” can become an addiction – be careful, or you too could be trapped into this buying with credit obsession.
5. Excessive Debt means lost opportunities. When you owe too much money, you will often have to pass on an attractive opportunity for an investment or purchase when it comes along. That means you cannot buy into a business or purchase a home or car at the right price because too much of your money is going toward servicing debt rather than building up saving and equity. Thus, you are not prepared when opportunity knocks. Additionally, with excessive debt also comes the necessity to work extra hours or an extra job to help pay the bills – which means less time for your family.
6. Excessive Debt can hostage your future. Debt accumulates interest faster and at deeper rates than most investments and savings. Nonetheless, it is more fun to watch your assets grow than to watch your debt burden grow. Your future is at risk if you practice poor financial principles or are in poor financial health. You will spend too heavy a percentage of your future income on debt payments and accumulated interest. Thus, you will be able to spend less on your children’s future (including college, weddings, birthday gifts, etc.) because you have to pay for your past.
7. Excessive Debt can prevent you from serving God. Instead of being free to serve God and give or yourself, you might have to spend too much time chasing money to pay your bills. We should see excessive debt as a tool of the enemy. The devil wants us in debt so we will be crippled in our families and in our ministries. Don’t fall prey to the schemes of the devil, practice sound and Godly financial principles.

This short entry on crippling excessive debt is by no means a complete analysis on the subject. However, it is meant to give some food for thought.

We will write more on this subject in the future.

Print a copy of this article: Excessive Debt

What are some other ways the Excessive Debt can potentially cripple family life? Tells us by commenting on this post.

Have questions or disagree – if you do – let us know by commenting on this post.