Take Time for Your Children

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Posted by rfathers on January 5, 2009

As 2009 begins I am reminded of how important fatherhood is and just how fragile life can be. Today there are two stories in the news about fathers and lost sons. These stories are very different and very compelling.

Two Tragic News Stories

First, tragically a well-known celebrity (John Travolta) just lost his sixteen year old son (apparently connected to an illness). I am sure that the grief, is unimaginable, except to those that have also lost a child.

Second, a father in New Jersey who did not want to pay child support confessed to murdering his son and burying him in a playground. For that family, the grief must also be enormous and unbearable. Their anger should also be kindled.

Whereas this blog is to be uplifting and help fathers overcome obstacles to being good fathers, I cannot just pass by these stunning news stories about fathers and lost sons without some comment and feelings for the parents and loved ones.

Take Advantge of God-Given Opportunities

Generally speaking, when a father misses out on the opportunity of fatherhood it is because of their own shortcomings, busy schedules or poor priorities – not because of a death of a child – although it does happen. As we look at those two news stories above, I ask and emplore fathers to renew their committment to being good fathers.

Do it now while the opportunity still presents itself. If the opportunity is snatched from you because of the untimely death of your child(ren), you will not have a second chance.

Also, fathers, do not let the passage of time catch you. Do you want to look up one day to see that your children are grown and gone already? Do you want to be full of regret that you did not take the opportunity when it was available?

Here is one of the RFN theme statements that capsulizes what I think about fatherhood:

?Being a father is one of the greatest rewards and one of the most significant challenges a man can face. No father should miss this God-given responsibility and blessing.? (Akili Kumasi)

Lastly, take a look and listen to the two musical selections that come to mind below:

1. “Cats in the Cradle” written/sung by the late Harry Chapin

Lyrics to “Cats in the Cradle”

(Verse 1)
My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay,
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, yeh,
I know I’m gonna be like you”.

(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home Dad?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, son,
Ya know we’ll have a good time then”.

(Verse 2)
Well my son turned 10 just the other day,
He said “Thanks for the ball Dad, come let’s play.
Can ya teach me to throw?” I said
“Not today, I got a lot to do.” He said “That’s ok”.
And then, he walked away but his smile never dimmed,
He said “I’m gonna be like him, yeh,
Ya know I’m gonna be like him”.

(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home Dad?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, son,
Ya know we’ll have a good time then”.

(Verse 3)
Well he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son I’m proud of you, can ya sit for a while?”
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
“What I’d really like Dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See ya later, can I have them please?”

(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home son?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, Dad,
Ya know we’ll have a good time then”.

(Verse 4)
Well I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away,
I called him up just the other day.
I said “I’d like to see you, if you don’t mind.”
He said “I’d love to Dad, if I can find the time.
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it’s sure nice talking to you Dad,
It’s been sure nice talking to you.”
And as he hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He’d grown up just like, my boy, was just like me.

(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home son?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, Dad,
We’re gonna have a good time then”.

(Lyrics copied from Lyrics Mode

2. “Tears in Heaven” written and performed by Eric Clapton

This song was about his four-and-a-half year old son, Conor, who tragically died in 1991.

Lyrics to “Tears in Heaven”

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I’ll find my way
Through night and day,
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.

Beyond the door,
There’s peace I’m sure,
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.

Copied from Eric-Clapton.co.uk