Somehow this website appeared on my computer Joel and Kathy – GodSavedMyMarriage.com. No kidding, I walked away from doing some work on my computer to do the dishes.
After finishing the dishes and talking with my wife, I came back to my computer to find Joel and Kathy’s website on the screen (honestly). (It must have come up when i was rumbling around my desk looking for something. in any event, it was God’s doing.)
Anyway, I looked through their website to see what they are about and wow, what a discovery! A great looking family with a tremendous set of testimonies from readers of their books.
In their own words, this is what Joel and Kathy are about:
“If your marriage has been ravaged by adultery, porn, other marital problems, divorce, emotional abuse, mental abuse or verbal abuse, then allow Joel and Kathy Davisson to help you!
Joel was a Pastor in 1991 when he got into an affair. He then continued to abuse Kathy with spiritual abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Joel’s infidelity and continuing abuse almost caused a divorce.
In 1994, Joel and Kathy attended a week of training at Life Skills International with Dr. Paul Hegstrom. There they learned that Joel was an abusive husband. Their marriage restoration began immediately.
In 2004, after ten years of living an extraordinarily happy marriage, God led the Davisson’s to write The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!
Now, through this marriage ministry, Joel and Kathy help couples with every type of marriage problems, such as: recovery from porn addiction, adultery, abuse and help for a myriad of other marital problems.
The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His Ministry includes marriage training opportunities?and?marriage support.
This marital support includes marriage seminars, their signature Weekend Marriage Intensive, phone marriage counseling and personal marriage mentoring. The Weekend Marriage Intensive is a combination of marriage retreat, divorce prevention and a Marriage Workshop.
The Weekend Marriage Intensive Marriage Retreats conducted by Joel and Kathy have brought about remarriage after divorce, rekindling of romantic love, adultery recovery and recovery from every other kind of unfaithfulness in marriage.
Marriage coaching and couples coaching is available for FREE on Joel and Kathy’s online marriage forum at www.joelandkathy.com/boards/
Today, I received a great e-mail from All Pro Dad titled Husbands Who Love Their Wives. It featured a list by Dr. Robert Lewis of 25 thought provoking items. Here are the first seven:
Includes his wife in envisioning the future.
Accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
Is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
Discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
Seeks consultation from his wife on all major financing decisions.
Follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
Anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue… (Proverbs 18:21 KJV)
This is very important because we have to be careful about the words that we speak over our children.
For example, have you ever heard a parent say that her child is “shy” or maybe you have heard a mother call her son “devilish”? Well guess what, the more we emphasize the negative, the more we could be programming (or cursing) our child to be that way.
The reverse of this is also true. That is why motivational speakers consistently teach that we should “confess” what we want. If we encourage our children and emphasis their good points (instead of what we don’t like about them or their behavior), the more we could be helping them to develop a positive self-esteem and healthy self-confidence.
I believe this is one of the reason why God told us that we were made in His likeness:
Then God said, ?Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.? (Genesis 1:26 NIV)
God wants us to see ourselves as rulers in His own image. He knows that the devil comes to tell us all sorts of lies about who we are what we can do. But, if we listen to God then we will see ourselves in a much more positive light and will thus strive for the better life.
This is true of our children as well. The more we paint a picture of success and strength, the more our children will see themselves in that light.
Parents, more than anyone else can promote their child’s self-esteem. It isn’t a particularly difficult thing to do. In fact, most parents do it without even realizing that their words and actions have great impact on how their child or teenager feels about himself.*
The article entitled also gave the folllowing suggestions:
When you feel good about your child, mention it to him.
Be generous with praise.
Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements.
Avoid criticism that takes the form of ridicule or shame.
Teach your child about decision-making and to recognize when he has made a good decision.
Develop a positive approach to providing structure for your child.
The Child Development Institute’s article also provided 10 additional steps you can take to help your child develop a positive self-image.
_______________________ * Myers, Robert (Editor). (December 18, 1999) “Helping Your Child Develop Self-Esteem,” Child Development Institute (Accessed Janaury 21, 2009).
The Child Development Insititute also has a great deal more information for parents on parenting, psychology, child development, education, health, safety, families, the arts and more. Visit their website: Child Development Institute.
Today, Barack Obama was inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States. This is what he had to say during the campaign on fatherhood.
Obama Speech on Fatherhood and Family at the Apostolic Church of God in Chicago, IL on June 15, 2008.
It will be exciting to see how his positions on family and fatherhood will translate into programs and policies that to help strengthen families and fathers in the coming years.
We will be watching and reporting to our readers. We wish him well in the presidency.
As 2009 begins I am reminded of how important fatherhood is and just how fragile life can be. Today there are two stories in the news about fathers and lost sons. These stories are very different and very compelling.
Two Tragic News Stories
First, tragically a well-known celebrity (John Travolta) just lost his sixteen year old son (apparently connected to an illness). I am sure that the grief, is unimaginable, except to those that have also lost a child.
Second, a father in New Jersey who did not want to pay child support confessed to murdering his son and burying him in a playground. For that family, the grief must also be enormous and unbearable. Their anger should also be kindled.
Whereas this blog is to be uplifting and help fathers overcome obstacles to being good fathers, I cannot just pass by these stunning news stories about fathers and lost sons without some comment and feelings for the parents and loved ones.
Take Advantge of God-Given Opportunities
Generally speaking, when a father misses out on the opportunity of fatherhood it is because of their own shortcomings, busy schedules or poor priorities – not because of a death of a child – although it does happen. As we look at those two news stories above, I ask and emplore fathers to renew their committment to being good fathers.
Do it now while the opportunity still presents itself. If the opportunity is snatched from you because of the untimely death of your child(ren), you will not have a second chance.
Also, fathers, do not let the passage of time catch you. Do you want to look up one day to see that your children are grown and gone already? Do you want to be full of regret that you did not take the opportunity when it was available?
Here is one of the RFN theme statements that capsulizes what I think about fatherhood:
?Being a father is one of the greatest rewards and one of the most significant challenges a man can face. No father should miss this God-given responsibility and blessing.? (Akili Kumasi)
Lastly, take a look and listen to the two musical selections that come to mind below:
1. “Cats in the Cradle” written/sung by the late Harry Chapin
Lyrics to “Cats in the Cradle”
(Verse 1)
My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay,
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, yeh,
I know I’m gonna be like you”.
(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home Dad?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, son,
Ya know we’ll have a good time then”.
(Verse 2)
Well my son turned 10 just the other day,
He said “Thanks for the ball Dad, come let’s play.
Can ya teach me to throw?” I said
“Not today, I got a lot to do.” He said “That’s ok”.
And then, he walked away but his smile never dimmed,
He said “I’m gonna be like him, yeh,
Ya know I’m gonna be like him”.
(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home Dad?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, son,
Ya know we’ll have a good time then”.
(Verse 3)
Well he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son I’m proud of you, can ya sit for a while?”
He shook his head, and he said with a smile
“What I’d really like Dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See ya later, can I have them please?”
(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home son?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, Dad,
Ya know we’ll have a good time then”.
(Verse 4)
Well I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away,
I called him up just the other day.
I said “I’d like to see you, if you don’t mind.”
He said “I’d love to Dad, if I can find the time.
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it’s sure nice talking to you Dad,
It’s been sure nice talking to you.”
And as he hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He’d grown up just like, my boy, was just like me.
(Chorus)
And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little Boy Blue and The Man In The Moon.
“When ya comin’ home son?”
“I don’t know when, we’ll get together then, Dad,
We’re gonna have a good time then”.
Here are free recipes for Breakfast and Lunch for Dad's to do with their children from the book, Fun Meals for Fathers and Sons: Recipes and Activities for Bonding and Mentoring.
Reconciled Fathers Network
Akili Kumasi, Founder
