Who Is a Reconciled Father?

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Posted by rfathers on December 14, 2008

What is a Separated-Father?

A separated-father is a father who does not live with his children because of divorce, parental separation or births to un-married parents.

Separated-fathers should not confuse being separated from their children?s mother as an excuse for not being a good father. Your separation from their mother should not stop you from your FatherHood role and responsibility. Let me also tell you quite frankly that whatever you are experiencing in your attempt or desire to be a good father, you are not alone.

What is a Reconciled-Father?

We defined a separated-father as a father who is not living with his children. But many separated-fathers are also reconciled-fathers, that is, they are taking responsibility for their children and they have an on-going relationship with them.

A reconciled father is a father who does not live with his children, but is nonetheless a good father. This father finds a way to bridge the gap of distance whether it is a few blocks, a few miles, or a few thousand miles.

A reconciled father is an important part of his children?s lives. He loves his children – and shows it. Love is an action word. Too many people confuse love with feelings. Love is a decision that brings commitment. Commitment in fatherhood means involvement.

A reconciled-father has an on-going nurturing relationship with his children.

A reconciled father is a father who is responsible for his children. He supports his children.

A reconciled father leads his children. He teaches them. He disciplines them. He plays with them.

In short, a reconciled father loves his children and takes responsibility for them while he helps prepare them for adulthood…

(Taken from the book by Akili Kumasi, On the Outside Looking In: Hope for Separated Fathers Who Want To Be Good Fathers)